porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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