only if we run a train.
done.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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