he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
that's an acceptable place to lick
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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