I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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