He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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