Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
