I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize