And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My feet surprised me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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