Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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