dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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