you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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