sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
