So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
