I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
