He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you didnt know i had herpes?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
