I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
