Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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