i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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