I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
