I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
