ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
