Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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