my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
