I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
