please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
