if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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