I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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