your parents love me but you hate me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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