I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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