he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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