yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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