Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just had sex bonerless
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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