i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize