Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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