Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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