I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
