Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
