Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
