I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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