ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
