p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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