he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
