for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
