winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
