Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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