What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Even my vagina gasped.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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