we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
