Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
