I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
