he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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