Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize