I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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