I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
