shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
