omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
