Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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