So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
