Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
